Curse of the Bam-Boonie

First of all, let's clear up this Curse nonsense right up-front: There is no Curse of the Bambino.

The Yankees won a record 60-something games by comeback in the regular season, yet when they do the exact same thing against the Twins, it's October Magic & Mystique. I think this Yankee team had lots of May Magic and lots of August Magic, but apparently nobody was too impressed.

If the Yankees beat the Red Sox in the ALCS, they'd better hit and pitch better. They won't win because of intimidation, history, mystique, or Babe Ruth's ghost. I think the Yankees' potential advantages are (1) home field, and (2) Mariano over Foulke.

But let's just say you do believe in curses and mystique and all that jazz, at least the Curse of the Bambino stands up to scrutiny. The Red Sox traded Babe Ruth to the Yankees and, in retrospect, it completely changed the balance of power in the American League. Throw in some Game Seven Boston losses, a grand total of zero World Series titles, excruciating losses to the Yankees and others, and you've got your fodder for Red Sox Nation Torture.

Okay, it's all familiar territory. Babe, Bucky, Buckner, Boone, but it's still stupid and subtly insulting to the players who actually play the game. Because Mussina might throw a 5-hit shutout and Sierra might drive in 7 runs, but the Yankees really won because of Babe Ruth.

Babe Ruth won't be in the Stadium next Tuesday, and neither will Bucky Dent, Bill Buckner, or Aaron Boone. (Well, Bucky Dent might be at the Stadium, fetching some food for Reggie Jackson in the luxury boxes.)

In this context, please read this Mike Lupica excerpt, which he repeated this morning on the Sports Reporters:

"I ask the following question in honor of Aaron Boone:

If the Yankees don't win, could it possibly be The Curse of the Bam-Boonie?"

Yes, Lupica actually wrote this. I provided a link just for verification, because the more times you read it, the more you'll just shake your head in disbelief. Even more amazingly, Lupica actually thinks this is so funny, that he repeated it on national television.

This is like that "No Soap, Radio" joke where everybody in the room laughs uncomfortably because somebody just said a stupid joke that they don't understand ... and they're not sure if they're missing something ... maybe you're the only person who doesn't understand the joke.

Don't worry. It's not you. It's Lupica. Lupica doesn't get it.

First of all, it's just not funny. It's not a good pun. "Bambino" becomes "Bam-Boonie"? Ha ha ha! I get it, I get it. "Boone," as in "Aaron Boone."

But why not just call if "Curse of Aaron Boone"?

Oh, right. Because "Bambino" is a well-known curse and then you linked Aaron Boone to Babe Ruth by messily combining their names. Cool!

Yeah, I get it and everything ... I really do get it, Mike ... but how does Aaron Boone relate to Babe Ruth? They both were Yankees, right? They both hurt the Red Sox, right? So "Bam-Boonie" is now a curse for the Yankees?

You know what? I totally get it. But it's time for a refill of my drink, look at the time, you know I'm going to go stand over there for a while. Nice talking to you, Mike!


Secondly, how exactly has Aaron Boone come back to curse the Yankees?

The Yankees won 101 games, the AL East, home field throughout the playoffs. Aaron Boone sits on the Disabled List of the Cleveland Indians.

Boone's Replacement just hit .420 in the first round with power, speed, and even some walks. Last year, Boone hit .200 in the first round, .176 in the second round, and .143 in the World Series.

Boone's Replacement had a nice .286, 36, 108 in the 2004 regular season. Boone ended the 2004 season with 0 hrs, 0 runs, 0 stolen bases, and 0 rbis.

If this is a curse, then the Yankees need more curses. Maybe Aaron Boone can get together with Rondell White, Bert Campaneris, Raul Mondesi, and every other ex-Yankee, and try to stick pins into a George Steinbrenner voodoo doll.

While they watch the playoffs on televison.