While Mike Lupica again creates an imaginary world -- this time, the Yankees think they're a "greater healer than Lourdes" -- the reality is that the Yankees are keenly aware that injuries are their biggest danger.
The Daily News is predicting 110 wins and Michael Kay is predicting 108 (110 wins?!?! One hundred and ten?!?!), and I have not heard one single analysis -- GM, coach, player, fan, WFAN caller, columnist, TV personality, Bobby Murcer, Suzyn Waldman -- that didn't bring up the fear of injuries.
I'm even reduced to quoting Joel Sherman, who points out that the Yankees stockpile Replacement pitchers to protect themselves from inevitable injuries:
"The Yankees actually came to believe they had added a level of protection at Columbus with Quadruple-A types such as pitchers Buddy Groom and Aaron Small ... starters Jorge DePaula and Chien-Ming Wang, reliever Scott Proctor ... raised their profile and the organizational belief they could be used as either fill-ins or July trade chips ... Wang would probably be the replacement should Brown be placed on the disabled list."
Point is, why are the Yankees spending so much time and money on the likes of Aaron Small and Chien-Ming Wang if they believe the Pinstripes have Magic Healing Power?
"The Yankees better hope that Randy Johnson, old pitcher, stands up better than old Kevin Brown has."
Well, of course this is true. But they'd also better hope he holds up better than Curt Schilling, Wade Miller, Kerry Wood, Mark Prior, Roy Halladay, David Wells, and Andy Pettitte. This list of pitchers on the DL goes on forever. Pitchers Young and Old; in the AL and in the NL; with histories of injuries and without; ex-Yankees, current Yankees, and future Yankees.
"The Big Unit could win the Cy Young Award going away this season, you bet. Or he could end up on the disabled list. You tell me which is a better bet."
Going on the DL is probably a better bet than "winning the Cy Young going away."
Of course, Unit could end up on the DL briefly and still win the Cy Young, even if it's not a landslide victory. So who wins the bet then? Is "both" the winner? Do I have to choose only one?
I'd say the same thing about Johan Santana, Curt Schilling, Ben Sheets, Roger Clemens, Pedro Martinez, Scott Kazmir, and any other pitcher. They all have a better chance of going on the DL than winning the Cy Young award ... forget about winning the Cy Young going away. Only one pitcher wins the Cy Young award in each league, for Pete's sake. Half the pitchers are going on the DL at some point.
Heck, I'll even go out on a limb and say that Eric Gagne and Curt Schilling have a better chance of going on the DL sometime this season than winning the Cy Young award.
Or maybe the winner is "neither." Unit stays healthy, wins 19 games, strikes out 220 batters, era of 3.25 but comes in fourth in Cy Young voting behind Johan Santana, Mariano Rivera, and Mark Buehrle. Is "neither" a choice?
While contemplating the Inherent Uncertainty of the Universe, one thing's for sure: I sure as heck don't want Weaver and Vazquez back in the rotation.
Could any Yankee fan imagine that nightmare rotation? Mussina, Pavano, Wright, Weaver, Vazquez? Yikes. I'll take my chances with Brown and Unit. I'll take my chances with injured Brown and Unit. I'll take my chances with Brown and Unit in wheelchairs, blindfolded, pitching arm tied behind their back.
Lupica seems to think the Yankees should have just thrown good money after bad, doubling down on Weaver and Vazquez. That's Lupica's idea of "showing patience."
Well, you know what? In this case, patience ain't a virtue. Sometimes, younger ain't better.
My biggest problem with Lupica is not his editorial idiocy. He is entitled to his opinion, even though he displays consistent lack of knowledge regarding the Yankees or baseball in general.
My biggest problem is that he presents these warped facts as though they were the truth, as if everybody was thinking the same way he does.
You'll see when October rolls around and Mariano is healthy. Lupica won't forget about his prediction that Mariano's arm is about to fall off. Instead, he'll say something like "everybody thought Mariano was in trouble this season" or "Mariano was supposed to be injured when October rolled around."
About a week ago, he started his column by saying something like, "The steroid inquiries were supposed to be quick and easy and uneventful." Which planet was that? Not here on Earth.
Oh, now I have to go look it up in the archives. Here it is, from March 27:
"Once, all the finger-pointing about steroids in baseball was supposed to be nothing more than a witch hunt, something out of the distant past, some baseball version of the Salem witch trials."
When? When was the finger-pointing about steroids supposed to be nothing more than a witch hunt? Was this a common sentiment? Can Lupica cite a source? Did Lupica actually feel this way at one time, or is he just making it up entirely? I don't even know what Lupica is talking about.
Even trivial stuff. "If the Yankees win game 3 of the ALCS, then they will sweep"; "ARod is not supposed to bat second." What is Lupica talking about?
It is very typical technique in Lupica World. He says something that is incorrect and, when he's proven incorrect, he just claims that everybody else felt the same way the whole time.
Not me! Not me! I knew you were stupid the whole time!
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