No, seriously, I do. I have a theory about baseball.
My theory is that the umpires have always been this bad but we just didn't know because we didn't have omnipresent replay technology.
Instant replay, I think, would be an easy partial solution. But the bigger problem, on a daily basis, is the mysterious, shifting strike zone. It's widely accepted that different umpires have different strike zones; that a borderline 3-0 pitch is a strike; that a rookie won't get the same call that a veteran will get; that the umpires widen the strike zone to manage a slow-moving game; that the strike zone shrinks if the pitcher has a bad attitude.
Why does MLB culture accept this nonsense?
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