The role of a critic.

"This one's for you, buddy. You know who you are. For the past week or so, you've been e-mailing newspapers, calling sports talk radio stations, kicking it around with your pals. Although the words may vary, the conclusion is always the same.

Joe must go."

The last five years or so.


"So clearly, there's only one thing to do. Fire the manager."

I doubt if anybody thinks the firing of the manager would instantly solve all the Yankees' problems and propel the Yankees into the playoffs.

The Yankees need pitching and everybody knows this, even people who call sports talk radio stations. Most observers knew this before the season even started.


"Is it Torre's fault that three-fifths of his starting rotation has spent time on the disabled list, or that right now Bobby Abreu couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of a window, or that Chien-Ming Wang split a nail on his pitching hand yesterday, compromising his chances to tame the Red Sox, or that Alex Rodriguez hit into an eighth-inning double play when a two-run homer would have helped a lot more?"

I will give Matthews credit for one cogent baseball observation. A two-run homer would have helped a lot more than a double play.


"Is it Torre's fault that his front office left him pitching-poor this season, or that for the first time in recent memory, the Red Sox seem to have not only the better setup man - well, who would you prefer, Kyle Farnsworth or Hideki Okajima? - but the better closer?

Could Torre have kept David Ortiz, Alex Cora and Manny Ramirez in the ballpark yesterday?"

Very interesting question.

The Yankees are in last place. They are behind the Red Sox, the Blue Jays, the Orioles, and the Devil Rays.

Does Torre have worse set up men than the Devil Rays?


As for yesterday's game, I think Torre may bear some responsibility, if you think about it.

Alex Cora faked a bunt on his first pitch. Torre, Posada, and Wang all fell for it and grooved a fastball down the middle on the next pitch.

Scott Proctor allowed a homerun to Manny Ramirez. Due to Torre's peculiarities as a manager, Scott Proctor has pitched 4,500 innings in the past two seasons. His arm may be tired.


"Besides, who could do a better job with this team than Torre has done? Don Mattingly? Joe Girardi? Or you, buddy? If so, tell me how."

Don Mattingly? I'm not sure.

Joe Girardi? Absolutely.

Me? Am I supposed to manage the Yankees better than Joe Torre?

In truth, I think I casually pay attention to the opponent and the game situation with more insight that Joe Torre. I would have never sent the runners with ARod batting and Wakefield pitching. It's the strike-'em-out, throw-'em-'out Joe Torre Special.

Or send righties in against Okajima. I'll bet Torre has no idea what Okajima's splits are or that Okajima throws a lot of changeups. Not that there's too much to go on with a pitcher with such a small sample size, but Torre also has no idea what Roy Halladay's splits are. Torre said last week that he doesn't stay up at night thinking about the opponent's pitcher -- gee, you don't say.


This is a bizarre stance for a sportswriter to take.

Just because I would not be able to manager the Yankees, I am not allowed to criticize the manager of the Yankees.

But, what do you do every single day in your newspaper column?

Hey, Wallace. When Alex Rodriguez hit into a double play in the eighth inning yesterday, would you have been able to do any better?

Oh, was that a rhetorical question?

Joe Buck just asked a national audience, "What do you think was going through Joe Torre's mind when he saw that bat headed towards Alex Rodriguez?"

The bat had slipped out of the batter's hand and sailed towards the Yankee third baseman.

What do I think was going through Joe Torre's mind?

I can only speculate:

1) "When time does the buffet start at the Country Kitchen?"

2) "What day is it?"

3) "Where am I?"

4) "Who are we playing?"

5) "Is it four strikes is an out? Or four balls is a walk?"

6) "What's a good nickname for Chien-Ming Wang?"

7) "Green tea makes me want to pee."

8) "Do things. Do things. Do things. Do things."

9) "How does one associate Marx's theories of dialectical materialism with Gould's theories of transitional biology vis a vis a holistic view of the collective unconscious?"

10) Nothing.

Jeopardy!

A: Ninth.

Q: Where should the .152 hitter always bat?


A: Second.

Q: Where did Joe Torre bat the .152 hitter?


A: It's a trick question. There is no difference.

Q: What is the difference between a legitimate Joe Torre lineup and the lineup Joe Torre puts together when he's trying to get fired?

But he emanates calm.

"But the one person who escapes the criticism, especially from the media, is the person I blame the most for this mess: manager Joe Torre."

Preach to me, preacher.


"This is not easy to say. What Torre has done in New York is special. Part of me thinks that if a manager wins four World Series, he should never be criticized."

Squash that part of you.


"However, Torre has never been a master at using the bullpen, but this season his cluelessness has hit another level. In the past, he's burned out Steve Karsay, Tanyon Sturtze, Tom Gordon and Paul Quantrill. It looks like Scott Proctor and Luis Vizcainio will be next."

Imagine if Torre didn't have Mariano Rivera.


"But here's what Torre's biggest sin has been: He showed that he's scared of the Red Sox. It was blatantly evident last weekend. A lot was made in New York about how Torre managed the series opener like it was Game 7 of the World Series. Well, he also managed like he had a one-run lead when he had a four-run lead. He showed all of Boston that he was petrified of losing that game. And there's no doubt in my mind that the Red Sox (and their fans) could see it and smelled blood -- and got it."

I don't disagree.

It's way down on the list of grievances, but I don't disagree.

You're learning, Jimmy. You're learning.

You want me to pitch, too?

"Rodriguez, who is hitting .400 (30-for-75) with 14 homers and 34 RBIs, become the first player in major league history to hit 14 homers in the first 18 games of the season and tied Albert Pujols' 2006 mark for most home runs in April.

'This obviously is a tough time for us, but it's a long season. We've got to keep working ourselves out of it,' Rodriguez said.

'We need a win in the worst way. Again, I think hard work and grinding through it and supporting your teammates are the most important things.' "

When I say "tough time for 'us,' " I mean, "tough time for people who are not me."

Yesterday, I made a Nettles play at third and almost another one.

My baserunning was inspired.

Not to mention the four hits, four runs scored, and two homeruns.

I'm thinking about "supporting my teammates" by calling that guy from Sports Illustrated and setting the record straight.

Who's the best third baseman in New York?

ARod should take a couple of months off just to give The Anointed One a chance to catch up.

Dan Graziano pays attention:

"But as the endorsements and the appearances and the accolades kept flowing in, the home runs and RBI have started to trickle. Wright's power stroke vanished after last season's All-Star break. His lousy showing in the NLCS ranked at or near the top of the list of reasons the Mets missed out on the World Series. And in the first 18 games of this season, he has four RBI and no home runs.

All of which makes you wonder -- has it become a little too cool to be David Wright? All of the endorsements, the magazine covers, the public appearances and praise ... is it all too much too soon?"

I don't think it's the magazine covers or the contract. David Wright is an excellent baseball player. He's just not as good as lots of people thought. He's nowhere near as good as Alex Rodriguez, and he never was.

Let's review what Alex Rodriguez had accomplished by age 25.

When ARod was 25, he had his first 50-homerun season, which was preceded by three straight 40-homerun seasons.

When ARod was 20, he hit .358 with 36 homeruns.

David Wright will never accomplish these things.

Pretty sneaky, sis.

When ARod hit a homerun in four consecutive games, I thought of a good headline. But nobody used it.

When the Red Sox hit four straight homeruns, I still didn't see it.

Must I think of everything?

Overheard and overread.

Overread? That isn't even a word.


1. I paraphrase Keith Hernandez during today's Mets-Braves game. Two on, two out, tie game, top of the 8th, 2-0 pitch to Kelly Johnson with Edgar Renteria on deck:

"Renteria is a clutch, veteran hitter. The strategy here is to make the rookie beat you, but don't let the veteran beat you."

On cue, Johnson drills a game-winning three-run homerun on the next pitch.

Congratulations to the Mets for making the rookie beat you.

For future reference, I suggest an ever better strategy: Get the batter out.


2. Sportsline's "glog" of the Yankees-Sox game:

"Dice-K came up and in to A-Rod and knicked him. Perhaps this was a better result for Red Sox fans than a strikeout in some ways."

This is a constant source of befuddlement.

Why do fans cheer when a pitcher on their team beans an opposing player?

Why do fans boo when a player on their team is hit by a pitch?

It's a baserunner, people. The baserunner may become a run if he eventually touches home plate. Runs are how baseball games are won.

If the fans of a team cheer when their pitcher puts an opposing player on base, then they deserve what they get.

Sure enough, Giambi doubles in two runs.

Is that a better result for Red Sox fans?

Go ahead, Dice-K, be my guest.

Hit Yankee batters all night long.

Hit four in a row and it's a cheap run.

Somebody ask him about pinch-running for Giambi.

Kevin Thompson batting with two outs in the ninth.

I think Torre got in the habit of putting in late-inning defensive replacements for Giambi when Giambi was playing first base.

Now, Torre is putting in late-inning defensive replacements for his designated hitter.

Odd, that.

Funny Quote.

Andy Pettitte on ARod:

''Since I've been here, it's all been good,'' said Pettitte, who departed the Yankees before Rodriguez's arrival in 2004. ''I'm scratching my head trying to figure out what everybody's been complaining about.''

Bold Predictions.

Randy Hill answers a question nobody was asking:

"Pujols will hit, trust me."

I trust you.


"Through his first six seasons, the St. Louis Cardinals' slugger averaged 41 home runs and 126 RBI. But his two-homer, five-RBI effort on Sunday left Flat Albert with three and seven, respectively, for the season.

Despite his relentless consistency, Pujols — now hitting .170 — may be setting a new personal standard for early season struggle. He hit .372 with 14 homers and 32 RBI in April of 2006 after checking in with a solid .286 in 2005."

In his first six seasons, the lowest Albert Pujols has ever finished in MVP voting is fourth.

His 162-game average is .300/.416/.625, 43 hrs, 131 rbis.

According to baseball-reference.com's Hall Of Fame monitor, Albert Pujols is already 81st highest of all time. After just six seasons.

Trust me, Randy Hill: Nothing you could write in your column, no contrary prediction you could make, could stop Albert Pujols from hitting.

This prediction is like rolling a die and predicting a number between one and six.

Fishy.

When Jon Heyman picked the Angels as the "clear-cut favorite in its division," I thought it was an unwise choice. I personally like the Tigers.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. No big deal.

You know who else likes the Tigers? Jon Heyman, ten days earlier.

Conspicuous in its absence.

Sometimes, it's not what you say, it's what you don't say.

I heard Mike Lupica on the Sports Reporters this morning discussing the Imus firing. Lupica misread the situation. To paraphrase, Lupica said, "I usually have a pretty good idea about what's a big sports story."

As I elegantly spit my morning coffee out of my mouth, I decided to test his theory by examining his weekly Sunday column.

The Yankees currently have a third baseman who has seven homeruns in ten games. That's not only more homeruns that the Mets' third baseman, it's more homeruns than the Mets.

Mike Lupica is writing for a New York newspaper during baseball season. Only two mentions of the Yankees.

This: "Well, you could have picked me up off the floor when I found out Pavano was getting pushed back a couple of days with a sore arm."

(Tee hee.)

And this: "Sometimes my hamstrings get tight just watching the Yankees play."

(Har dee har har.)

The Yankees have injured players!

So, get worried, Yankee fans!


But we get another lengthy love letter to Jonathan Papelbon:

"If you watched Jonathan Papelbon of the Red Sox come out of the bullpen against the Texas Rangers last Sunday night on ESPN, you saw one of the most dominating efforts by a closer you're going to see all season.

And while we're on the subject: Terry Francona of the Red Sox basically did the same thing with Papelbon Friday night.

Brought him into a 4-1 game against the Angels when the Angels had first and third in the eighth and Bad Vlad Guerrero at the plate.

Papelbon struck out Guerrero with a 97-mph fastball, got Garret Anderson to fly out to end the inning.

When the Red Sox tacked on a bunch of runs in the bottom of the eighth, Papelbon was done for the night.

I don't know why managers don't do this more often, and I'm not talking about two-inning saves, necessarily.

But if you're absolutely convinced the game is on the line in the eighth, why wait until the ninth to bring in your closer?"

(But what is Plan B for the Red Sox if Papelbon gets hurt?)


There's this thing going on right under your nose. You have the privilege of watching one of the top ten baseball players ever during a hot streak. It's like watching Michelangelo drafting the Sistine Chapel. Right now, every ARod at-bat is Must See TV. The Yankees are 1-9 without ARod.

But Lupica won't mention ARod again until ARod hits into a ninth-inning double play.

Key word being "choice."

"Over the weekend, Major League Baseball will laud Jackie Robinson for his role in integrating the game and, ultimately, the country. At the same time, it will conveniently ignore another manner in which Robinson was far ahead of his time.

Given the choice, he probably would have chosen to play another sport professionally instead of baseball."

How presumptuous: "Jackie Robinson would have chosen to play another sport."


I don't think it's disrespectful to Jackie Robinson or the civil rights movement if young, black athletes choose to not play baseball. Or if young, black men choose, instead, to be software engineers or CEOs or Presidents of the U.S.

The general perception seems to be that Jackie Robinson would bemoan the relative lack of black ballplayers in major league baseball.

I'm not so sure.

I don't think Robinson's vision was so myopic.

New York fans are known for their toughness.

I am trying to imagine the outcry if Alex Rodriguez had started the season with 0 hrs and 3 rbis after ten games.

Vote For The Worst.

You have one hour to dial in.

1-866-Worthless or 1-866-BallThief.


It's actually not a difficult choice.

I do enjoy, on a daily basis, the fact that Torre insists on batting Ball Thief eighth instead of ninth. It's delicious. It's the Bad Managing version of a philly cheesesteak and you can enjoy it every day without getting fat.

Can I prove that the Yankees would have won last night if Ball Thief had batted ninth instead of eighth? No, I can not prove it. But the Yankees would have won last night if Ball Thief had batted ninth instead of eighth.

My favorite moment was probably when he lined into a double play. Naturally, Posada was running on the pitch. It was a prime example of how the Yankees can do things offensively. Hitting into double plays is a thing.

I also remember a play a few games ago when the pitcher (Igawa?) threw the ball wildly to first base. Ball Thief came off the base and saved a run with his glove.

Doesn't necessarily make up for 11,000 runners left on base, but it was a thing. That he did. Because he can definitely do some things.

So did Dave LaPoint.

Grandpa Joe explains Jackie Robinson's remarkable qualities:

"He was remarkable," Torre recalled recently. "He was a great athlete -- he played first, played third, played second ... "

Sounds good so far.

"... and wore No. 42."

Ho hum.

"The Yankees have played 16,116 games in their 105-year history, but they have ended only eight games with a grand slam. Yesterday’s game-ending grand slam, the third of Rodriguez’s career, may have been the most dramatic."

That's all you need to say.

"In an instant, a week of bad starting pitching and three years of a New York roller-coaster ride can disappear with one perfect swing.

This is a different A-Rod. I've been writing that since spring training and yesterday Rodriguez showed the world just how different, blasting a Reggie Jackson-like ninth-inning, two-outs, two-strikes, game-winning grand slam, the kind of shot you remember for the rest of your life.

And it was done with an effortless, unburdened swing."

Forget the off-field subplots for a moment. Just think about the pure aesthetic beauty of that homerun.

This was the kind of shot you remember for the rest of your life.

It felt like Little League, indeed.

Funny how Kevin Kernan and everybody else can see it. Only Mike Lupica is too far gone to enjoy baseball anymore.

Poor Lupica.

Poor guy had another article all ready to go about how the Mets are better than the Yankees and more intriguing and more exciting and the Wave of the Future.

Then, Alex Rodriguez hits a walkoff grand slam with two outs in the ninth.

What shall Lupica do? Shall he write a new article? Or shall he change the tone of his article a little bit? Or shall he just somehow incorporate this contrary data, but keep the same anti-Yankee, pro-Met tone? Deadline is approaching and he has to make a decision.

Lupica is forced to insouciantly dismiss one of the most exciting and dramatic and fun and intriguing plays he has ever seen on a baseball diamond.

Lupica would rather talk about how uber-awesome the Mets are:

"These past couple of years, the Mets feel as if they are starting all over again, two years before they move out there beyond right field, through the rotunda that will face Roosevelt Avenue. Even with the age we always hear about on their pitching staff, even with 40-year-old Moises Alou playing left and old Valentin at second, there is still something fresh and new to the Mets, six months after they should have made the World Series."

Odd he should say "fresh and new," because he has written this same same stale and old article for many years now.

Freakin' Mike Cameron in centerfield was fresh and new. The second coming of Ken Griffey Jr.

I think Roger Cedeno was gonna be Rickey Henderson.


"It is only the first week. The Mets make us pay attention to them already, as they try to come out of the blocks this season the way they did last season. That was an amazing series against the Cardinals in St. Louis, even if it didn't make up for Yadier Molina. The Braves' series started with that beatdown Friday night."

The Mets' first four games were exciting for Mets fans, I'm sure. Fans always pay attention to their teams because that is what fans do.

But they were exceedingly boring games for the casual fan. This imaginary non-committal entertainment-seeker to whom Lupica is alluding. The baseball fan whose loyalty is up for grabs.

Bo-Ring.

The Mets are nothing but greedy big spenders beating up on small markets, complete with Jose Reyes tacking on some useless RBIs when the Mets already had an eight-run lead.

Certainly nothing that matches a two-out ninth inning walkoff grand slam.


"The Yankees will always make headline and news on and off the field. The fans booed Alex Rodriguez in the first inning of the first game and loved him like he was the second coming of Mickey Mantle yesterday when he hit that walk-off slam into the black in center. But after four years of this, even that soap opera has gotten old.

...

How do I get some kind of reprieve from the daily A-Rod clutch-hitting watch?"

The soap opera has gotten old. I agree. Please stop writing about it.

If Mike Lupica is bored with the Yankees, then he can do us all a favor and stop watching them play baseball and stop writing about them.

If Mike Lupica doesn't understand the emotional payoff of yesterday's game after 3 1/2 dreadful hours on a chilly Sunday afternoon, then maybe he doesn't understand sports at all.

I know it's only Baltimore and I know it's only April. But that is precisely the kind of game that keeps the fans coming back for more.

Yankee fans all over the country are excitedly phoning one another. This is a moment that is completely unforgettable. You sit around with wiffle bats when you're seven years old and you intone Phil Rizzuto: "Two outs, bottom of the ninth, bases loaded ... the 1-2 pitch ... Holy Cow!"

Does Lupica really think the Yankees' future is bleak? Five million tri-state middle schoolers are going to be ARod during Monday's stickball game. If they weren't hooked before, they're hooked now.

All these fans pick up the newspaper the next day and are told how boring their team is.

They are told by a man who constantly calls ARod a "choker" that the "clutch watch" should be stopped.

Now, Lupica wants to stop talking about "clutch," does he? After the two-out ninth inning walkoff grand slam? Oh, that's interesting. Because I think a strikeout in that situation would have prompted another "choker" blurb in your article.

ARod comes to the plate after already hitting a homerun and a double, scoring three runs, and driving in two. He swings and misses a 1-1 pitch and the fans are already booing. Already, I'm angry about the unfair treatment he is about to receive.

Then, he swings at a 1-2 pitch -- a letter-high fastball, typical of a pitch that he missed a lot last year -- maybe the 12 pounds will really make a difference -- and he connects.

Not with a big, wild, homerun swing. With a quick stab.

The pitcher points to the sky, thinking it's a fly ball.

On the radio, John Sterling thinks it's a fly ball.

I think it's a game-ending fly ball. He didn't even swing hard. He didn't even get it on the sweet spot. I have seen a lot of fly balls to centerfield and that's a fly ball to centerfield.

The fly ball ends up in the black centerfield bleachers.

The man is so talented, his homeruns are optical illusions.

The "second coming of Mickey Mantle" is an insult to this man. Mickey Mantle was merely the 15th or 20th best player of all time.


There was quite an amazing story in New York baseball yesterday. Quite possibly, a once-in-a-lifetime story. That story wasn't about the Mets.

Lupica really doesn't get it. Lupica is simply too concerned with his own agenda. Lupica has pre-determined that the Yankees are joyless and a Jose Reyes ground out is more exciting than an Alex Rodriguez homerun.

Lupica, it's time for you to go away.

That's Our Joe!

I thought the funniest move by Joe Torre today was going to be his starting lineup. Inexplicably batting Mintkayvitch eighth and Cabrera ninth.

(I know, I know. Torre has an "explanation," and I know what it is. Circular lineup, the number nine hitter can be a "second leadoff hitter," we can do some things with speed, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, why am I wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day?)

But this starting lineup was not the funniest thing Torre did today.

The funniest thing occurred in the eighth inning.

With one out in the eighth, Giambi hits a three-run homerun to make the score Baltimore 7, New York 6.

The next batter is supposed to be Matsui, but Matsui has left the game due to an injury and Miguel Cairo has replaced Matsui in left field.

Damon is avaialable, but not 100% healthwise.

So, Cairo goes to the plate and takes a strike.

Then, after the count is 0-1, Torre calls on Damon to be the pinch hitter.

I've heard of chess grandmasters and their ability to anticipate as many as ten moves into the future.

Joe Torre, on the other hand, is probably still working on the strategies of tic-tac-toe.

Has ARod stopped beating his wife?

Michael Jordan was once asked if his performance on the court sometimes surprised himself. He answered, "Yes." Which immediately sounds obnoxious. However, if you think about it, it probably sounds more obnoxious if he answers, "No."

An April 6th game vs. Tampa Bay is not a great opportunity for ARod to turn Yankees fans in his favor. It just isn't. It's not a key at-bat for ARod because a grand slam would have done nothing more than elicit more shouts or "Mr. April."

It's going to take a Reggie game in the World Series. Which means it obviously isn't likely to ever happen. One hundred years of World Series games and only Babe Ruth and Reggie Jackson have 3-homerun games in the World Series.

Now, when a baseball player is questioned about a particular at-bat, I think it's pretty obnoxious to insult the opposing player who just beat you:

"It was frustrating. He gave me a good pitch to hit and I didn't do much with it," Rodriguez said. "A fat pitch. It was right there."

But I also don't think there's a good way to answer the question.

If ARod says the guy made a great pitch, round bat, round ball, 0.01 seconds to react, nobody ever batted .500, then he just sounds like a blameshifter.

Color me discouraged.

Mike Fitzpatrick's analysis seems to be the consensus:

" ... and the Yankees even got a few encouraging innings from Carl Pavano ..."


Even Steinbrenner the Terrible gives high marks to his $10 million bust:

"Pavano allowed five runs -- four earned -- and six hits in 4 1-3 innings. After 73 pitches, he left to a mix of cheers and boos.

'He did well,' Steinbrenner said."


What the heck is going on here?

Mike Puma sums it up nicely:

"The biggest benefit of low expectations is the praise that often accompanies even the most minimal achievement."

Plan A.

Top 9th: Tampa Bay

- M. Rivera relieved M. Rivera [sic]

- D. Navarro struck out swinging
- E. Dukes struck out swinging
- B.J. Upton struck out looking

Close and Late!

Alex Rodriguez starts out the 2007 season with a 1.000 batting average in close and late situations.

What can account for this dramatic turaround in clutch play?

It's probably the 12 pounds he lost.

Or the motivation of the opt out.

Or the embarrassment of batting eighth in the playoffs last year.

It is going to be a fun season.

One inning in the books and Alex Rodriguez has been booed twice by the Yankee Stadium crowd.

John Sterling says he "deserved it." He overran a foul pop and struck out with two runners on base.

Whether or not he "deserved it," get used to it.

Speaking of the strikeout, it occurred on a 3-2 pitch with two runners on and one out. One of the game's premier strikeout pitchers vs. one of the game's premier strikeout batters.

So, naturally, the call is to send the runners. Both of whom were safe on the basepaths. But does Joe Torre even think about these advanced analyses? Such as the pitcher and the batter? Is he sending the runners if Sandy Koufax is pitching to Reggie Jackson? The answer is "yes." Torre is sending the runners because Torre likes to "do things."

Maybe Torre can explain in the following defense of a first baseman who will hit .212 with 5 homeruns:

"But the things he can do, aside from the defensive aspect of it, is that he can put the ball in play. When you put the ball in play, we can do some things with our offense. That's encouraging for us, because swinging and missing really curtails some of the things you can do."

I hope that clears it up. Doing things is a very important aspect to baseball strategy. Maybe us neophytes would understand the imporance of doing things if we had a few decades of major league experience.

I wasn't listening on the radio, but I'm guessing Jeter got a standing ovation following his throwing error.

It is going to be a fun season.

And those kids ought to stop skateboarding on the sidewalk.

"The New York Mets and St. Louis Cardinals, who were in a fierce battle for the National League pennant in October, opened the 2007 season Sunday night.

Ho, hum.

You'd think this grudge match — the Cardinals went on to win the World Series — would demand national headlines. Instead, except for the two cities involved, this opener had about as much hoopla as any other April game.

This is a perfect example of how Major League Baseball has sold out to ESPN and tarnished one of its most sacred rituals: opening day.

The traditional opener was always in Cincinnati. There was a parade, kids hooked school and the first pitch helped melt away the winter. Baseball was back."

The mayor took the locomotive to the game so he could threw out the first ball. A fat mayor. Wearing suspenders and a monacle.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

"You know the best part about the Mets having a game tonight?

It means Jose Reyes is back in season.

This is a wonderful time to be a New York baseball fan.

There are so many players to watch, and so many of them are great players, and some of those great players have a lot of World Series rings.

I would rather watch Reyes play baseball than any of them."

I'd rather watch Jason Grimsley play baseball than Billy Wagner. I think it's funny when Grimsley takes his cap off every time he walks off the mound.

Go root for Jose Reyes all you want.

But a sportswriter ought to attempt to tell the truth and ought to attempt to be consistent.

When Jose Reyes leaves six runners on base in a playoff game, I want to Lupica to write that Reyes is a choker.

I was also wondering what the Mets' "Plan B" is if Jose Reyes pulls a hamstring.

What a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

Why do I do this to myself?:

"I don't care what Joe Torre's outfield rotation is this season, I just want Melky to play."

So you do care what Joe Torre's outfield rotation is this season.

Because who are you going to bench in favor of Melky?

You must choose between Johnny Damon, Hideki Matsui, or Bobby Abreu.


"Because if Papelbon really was Plan A for the back of the Red Sox bullpen all along, there really was no Plan B. But then, there's no Plan B with the Yanks if anything ever happens to Mo."

Wow.

He's harshing on the Mariano backup plan again.

Do you think there is a single team in the major leagues which has two dominant closers?

Yes, I remember the 1996 Yankees with Wetteland and a surprise Rivera. It was amazing.

But it's not sustainable. Because the only way to take a dominant closer -- say, B.J. Ryan -- and ask him to be a setup guy is to pay a premium.

B.J. Ryan signed a nice free agent contract last year.

Since he's a closer, he will accumulate hundreds of saves over the course of the contract, setting him up nicely for his next negotiation session and also increasing his overall status in the game.

Not much of a market for holds.

Anyway, how can the Yankees convince B.J. Ryan to ignore his own career and accept a demotion? They could entice him by paying him $15 million per year.

Then, you've got a solid Plan B.

Since that's dumb for everybody, your Plan B is Tom Gordon or Kyle Farnsworth.

Imagine if the season had started.

So much for getting younger, quicker, and more flexible with the payroll:

"There is no time to waste. Circumstances dictate immediate action. The Yankees need to play their best hand and get Roger Clemens back in Pinstripes."

It's spring training.

"Brian Cashman spent some time yesterday with retired football Giants GM Ernie Accorsi. Losing Wang now is like losing your star running back in the final exhibition game."

Roger Clemens was always presumed to be better than Kei Igawa or Carl Pavano. The Wang injury really doesn't change much because Wang is expected to be back before the 1st of May. So, what has really changed? If Cashman wanted to spend the money on Clemens, he should have done it already.

"All the plans, all the moves are meaningless without an ace."

I'm guessing Wang is the ace.

Okay.

But Wang will be back in a month.

Clemens won't even be in major league shape in a month.


"Clemens not only is the Yankees' best option, he is their only option."

Well, maybe they shouldn't have traded Randy Johnson in the first place.

But the options are actually pretty close to infinite. It's just a matter of how much the Yankees are willing to spend or how much they are willing to trade.

Or just wait ten days for Wang to get back.

That's an option.

I've got an even better idea.

Why is everybody suddenly so gung ho about Carl Pavano's ability to stand on a baseball mound and throw pitches towards home plate?

Is the key to perceived success simply setting low expectations?:

"In the bottom of the first inning, the Reds used three singles to load the bases with no outs. Up stepped the slugger Adam Dunn.

'The smart way to go about it is to be willing to give up a couple of runs, but don’t let them get a huge inning,' Pavano said. 'That’s when you put pressure on yourself and make bad pitches.' "

I'll remember that theory in mid-June when your ERA is 5.99 and your IP per start is about 4 2/3.

I'm no pitching coach, but I think the smarter way to go about it is to give up zero runs in as many innings as you can.

Like, don't load the bases in the first place.

Proposition: Should Carl Pavano be the Yankees' Opening Day starter?

For the affirmative, it's Glenn Giangrande: "Forget about Chien-Ming Wang, Mike Mussina or Andy Pettitte. If Joe Torre really wants to make Opening Day special, he'd start Carl Pavano."

For the negative, it's Glenn Giangrande: "Don't misunderstand me -- I am well aware that David Eckstein has a better chance of hitting 50 home runs this season than Pavano does of taking the mound on April 2nd. Heck, Pavano's not even in the conversation, and for good reasons. He isn't worthy of the honor to begin with."

After careful deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that I agree with Glenn Giangrande.

I choose "uninformed."

"Call me crazy, infirmed or anything else you choose, but I think Carl Pavano will have a productive season for the Yankees."

"Infirmed" is not a word.

I also think it's funny that La Monica's idea of a productive year is 12-8.

The Follow-Up Nobody Dares Ask.

"I know a lot of you are ready to throw Mientkiewicz under the bus. But give him a shot. You won’t see it in the box score but A-Rod threw wildly in the first inning and Mientkiewicz came off the bag to get the ball and swiped a tag on Lyle Overbay as he went by.

Minky will do that two or three times a series and there’s value in that."

Numbers are specific. The use of specific numbers invites scrutiny. It's a problem when you're really trying to convey vague information.

"Two or three times a series" can mean a lot of things.

The difference between two and three is 50%. Which is a lot of variance, depending on the context.

"A series" probably means three games. Or four. Less commonly, two games, or five games.

I'm going to average it out. The average of 2 and 3 is 2.5. The average length of a series is 3.5 games. Not so much the average, probably, but the median.

Using 2.5 saved errors for every 3.5 games, Abraham is suggesting that Doug M. will save 116 errors by Yankee infielders this year.

The absurdity of this observation is immediately obvious. The Yankee infielders wouldn't make that many throwing errors this season if Jorge Posada had to cover first base on every play.

But the scenario which Abraham is describing isn't even just saving 116 errors, it's supposedly saving 116 errors that other first baseman -- say, Andy Phillips, Jason Giambi, Shea Hillenbrand, Craig Wilson -- pick any old first baseman who could hit over .100 -- would not have been able to save. Jason Giambi is a statue, but even Jason Giambi can occasionally catch baseballs and tag runners as they run by.

This isn't even that difficult to figure out. All you have to do is watch the games.

Count the number of times a thrown ball evades Andy Phillips. An error that Mintkayvitch probably would have turned into an out. The "probably" is subjective, but you can still count "potential errors." It could be an entirely new stat category.

Over the course of the season? This will occur maybe 10 or 12 times. Nowhere near "two or three times a series."

If Doug Mintkayvitch could really turn 116 baserunners into outs, then he'd probably be the best player in baseball.

Which he is not.

"Here’s what Joe Torre said about it:

'Is it more beneficial to help your pitching staff and be more defensive oriented? Certainly if [we] don’t score runs we can’t sit here and blame Mientkiewicz. That’s my whole thought process. Not when you have a second baseman like we have, a shortstop like we have and the production that the center fielder puts out plus a catcher. You’re stealing from some positions that are defensive positions.' "

I don't know if it's more beneficial to help your pitching staff and be more defensive oriented. That would be a good question for the manager of the Yankees.

If you find the manager of the Yankees, you can tell him that, if the Yankees don't score runs, and Mintkayvitch hits .002 with runners in scoring position, then he can partially blame Mintkayvitch.

But the obvious, important, nagging follow-up question would go something like this: "Then why the heck did Gary Sheffield play first base in the playoffs last year?"

One more follow-up Mr. Torre: "Does green tea cause disintegration of the frontal lobe? Because I'm running out of alternate explanations."

I'm repeating myself because Lupica's repeating himself.

I apologize for the redundant nature of my blog.

Just for kicks, I checked the March '05 and March '06 archives, looking for proof of more anti-Mariano garbage.

I quickly found Mike Lupica on March 27, 2005:

"If you aren't worried about what kind of shape Mo Rivera's right arm is going to be in by October, then you're nuts."


April 28, 2006 (though this isn't Lupica):

"Yanks' closer not nearly what he once was, but manager still overusing him."


There were a couple more from April 2005 with Klapisch and the Daily News pronouncing the end of Rivera's career. It's tough to verify with dead links.

Point being, this has been going on for ten years.

As soon as Mariano blew a save in the '97 playoffs, he proved he couldn't handle Wetteland's role.

Plan B is lose a lot of games.

"And I don't want to sound cynical, because it's not my nature, but what is Plan B if Mo Rivera finally does begin to show his age this season?"

First of all, you should have asked all the people waiting in line for Mets tickets the same question about B-Wags, El Duque, Glavine, and Alou.

Secondly, be a man and admit that you've questioned Mariano every single (pre) season since 1996.

Mike Lupica, supposedly acclaimed baseball writer for the New York Daily News, had a big theory after the 2001 World Series that Mariano Rivera was not going to be able to mentally recover from the loss to the Diamondbacks.

Eventually, Mike Lupica will be proven correct.

Eventually, Mariano Rivera will either become an ineffective pitcher or retire from professional baseball.

When this happens, the esteemed Mr. Lupica will finally be able to say, "I told ya so!"

I'll just call him "Irabu."

I was wondering how to pronounce Kei Igawa's name. Thanks to the Daily News' endless search for the perfect pun, I am now more confused than ever:

"Kei can't unlock control."

So, it must be pronounced "key."


"Control is far from O-Kei."

So, it must be pronounced "kay."

Alex Rodriguez, Inc.

Don't you hate it when somebody explains something plainly obvious and then tells you that you don't understand this simple concept:

"What a lot of the A-Rod Forever crowd doesn’t understand is that this has nothing to do with the Yankees or Jeter or Torre or the media. It has everything to do with Alex Rodriguez, Inc."

Yes. ARod is self-centered and he was pushing his own agenda on the Mike and the Mad Dog Show.

Thanks for the insight, beat writer. Keep up the good work.

(Is "Inc." supposed to be an insult? Because, in the time it took you to add ", Inc." to his name, he earned more in interest than you will earn in your entire life. He probably is incorporated into a separate legal entity in order to protect his assets. If you ever move out of the Datsun, maybe you should think about doing the same thing.)

But even Abraham's simplistic observation (ARod is greedy!) doesn't get it quite right.

Because the fate of Alex Rodriguez, Inc. is related to the fate of the Yankees and, therefore, Jeter and Torre.

So Alex Rodriguez, Inc. absolutely has something to do with the Yankees and Jeter and Torre.


"Given what the market was like last winter, what would a player like Alex be worth next winter?"

A heck of a lot.

Probably not $25 mill per year, though. That ridiculous contract broke the bank and has never been approached by any other big league ballplayers.


"Starting the bidding at $33 million a year for seven years."

?????.

"Start the bidding at $33 million a year for seven years."

Did you say "$33 million"?

You really think ARod is going to get an offer for $33 million per year?

You, sir, are not smart. Your Yankee blog is starting to sound like a parody of itself.

Greed is preferable to sloth.

"You're asking me what my sincere feeling is. I want to 100 percent stay in New York. Period. That's it. I don't know how many ways I can say it."

-- Alex Rodriguez

"I know I have one more year. After that, I don't know what's going to happen. Definitely I want to finish my career here, but if they don't give the respect that I deserve, I have to move on."

-- Mariano Rivera


As for ARod's "loyalty pledge," I don't believe he used the word "loyal" one time during the interview.

No matter how screwed-up ARod is in the head, I hope he doesn't believe in fairy tales like "loyalty."

Surely, ARod noticed how the Yankees treated Bernie Williams. Or how the Yankees treated Gary Sheffield. Or how Andy Pettitte treated the Yankees, and the Astros, and maybe the Yankees again in a couple of years. Or how Roger Clemens treated the Red Sox, Blue Jays, and Yankees.

Greed is good. Free agency is good. Opt-outs are good. Loyalty is bad. It's a situation that keeps everybody on their toes.

Alex Rodriguez on "Exposed."

I find it amusing that every Alex Rodriguez utterance is deeply analyzed for every nuance. At the same time, Joe Torre freely contradicts himself mid-sentence and Omar Minaya doesn't even finish his thoughts.

Now that I've pointed this out to you, I may ruin your life.

Just listen to Omar Minaya interviewed on the radio or television.

Guy starts a thought and then never concludes the thought before starting down a new discussion path. The conclusion just sort of hangs there like an Alay Soler curveball. It's an implied conversation. It's a bisecting rhetorical soliloquy. He's having a debate with himself.


The Alex Rodriguez situation is not that difficult to understand, people.

As of this moment, Alex Rodriguez wants to finish his career as a Yankee. That's what he says. He has an opt-out which he doesn't plan on using.

However, he is not 100% sure this will occur, because nobody can be 100% sure of the future.

If the Yankees don't want him back, then he doesn't want to be back.

It must be a day that ends in "y."

(1) Jon Heyman attacks Gary Sheffield's character and (2) Commissioner Lurch says something dumb:

"Arte Moreno, all during the whole drug thing ... I didn't have any more aggressive, supportive owner."

The "whole drug thing," huh?

You mean the thing with the guy?

Oh, one more thing: Why is the "whole drug thing" being referred to in the past tense?

Tim Marchman Fights the Good Fight.

As a bonus, he goes right after Lupica.

I really don't have much to add to this exceedingly excellent column of excellentness except, "Word":

"We live, as our bluenoses are ever so quick to remind us, in a society of laws. Among the most fundamental of those, right up there with freedom of speech and freedom from arbitrary detention, is the right to define our legal relationships with others within the broader context of civil and criminal law. It is illegal to buy hGH without a prescription, and if Matthews did so and gets prosecuted for it, there's no reason to cry a single tear for him. That being said, the Angels don't have the right to fire him over it (certainly not because he's simply been accused of it in a magazine article), and that's a good thing. If owners want that right, they can try and negotiate for it at the bargaining table. If they can't get the players to agree, that's too bad."

You just can't win.

Why am I a baseball fan?

I'm not really sure why.

Somehow, when I was a child, I became completely transfixed with the in-game drama. Over the years, I developed a passionate rooting interest in one team, but I can also enjoy and appreciate baseball between any two teams -- as long as my favorite team's highly-paid players are not risking injury in the World Baseball Classic.

Way, way, way down on the list is "bragging rights":

"The Yankees still get more of the media coverage," Ben said. The others nodded. "We're still not 50-50 with them. Call it 60-40. We're coming on."

Just be careful what you wish for, Ben.

Because, the better your team plays, the more media coverage they will get. The more media coverage they get, the greater the possibility that Mike Lupica asks you questions while you wait in line for tickets.

I suddenly feel so irrelevant.

The Internet finds its higher purpose.

At long last, Curt Schilling has an outlet for his thoughts and opinions.

Revenge!

The Yankees are so egocentric.

I know Andy Pettitte wears his cap low on his forehead and won four rings with the Yankees, but I don't know why he has reputation as a great character guy.

In his three years with the Astros, Pettitte was paid $tens of millions and played in one World Series.

How happy do you think the Astros are to find out that their well-paid hometown pitcher was bored stiff during last year's pennant race?:

"At the end of the year, we're all frustrated and we don't know if we want to do this again, and all of that stuff," Torre said. "He was so frustrated and he just felt there was something missing, and I think he felt that the something missing was his desire to play."

So I could be a hitting coach.

"Even in spring training, Jason Giambi sees 'The Shift.' And he expects opposing defenses to continue to move an extra infielder to the right side when he bats because of his tendency to pull the ball.

But Giambi and the Yankees are working this spring on having him go back to using the entire field."

" 'It's to be a better hitter, so that you're more consistent,' hitting coach Kevin Long said yesterday. 'I don't think we're doing this to combat the shift. That's not what it's about.' "

" 'It's what he did when he was an MVP. It's what he did when he was at his best. It's what he wants to do and I want to see him accomplish it.' "

Somebody on the Yankees realized that Giambi should hit the ball more to the left side of the field, like he did when he hit .342?

I suddenly feel so important.

For the past five years, I thought my shouts from the bleachers seats were going unheeded.

While we're at it, "What are you swingin' at?"

My work here is done.

Heyman disses Al-Sor.

"If Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez exercises his opt-out clause after this season and walks away from the $81 million and three years remaining on his record contract, he may be subjected to even more boos in the Bronx."

Is ARod "in the Bronx" or are the boos "in the Bronx"?

Because, in ARod's current situation, he is subjected to boos in the Bronx during 81 homes games.

If ARod walks away from his Yankee contract, then he'd probably play for another team.

Even if that team visits the Bronx from time to time, ARod would seldom be subjected to boos in the Bronx because he is not in the Bronx.

Maybe he means "boos emanating from the Bronx."


"(Alfonso Soriano, seen as barely a bit player in A-Rod's trade to the Yankees three years ago, recently got $136 million over eight years from the Cubs in an exploding market reflective of the industry's revenues doubling to $6 billion in a matter of a few years.)"

Alfonso Soriano was third in rookie of the year voting in 2000. He was 3rd in MVP voting in 2001 and 20th in MVP voting in 2002. Two-time all star in his first three seasons.

If I spent some time, I could find lots of articles from three years ago which claimed that Soriano was on his way to becoming a 50 HR / 50 SB player, that Soriano would certainly hit more HRs in Texas than ARod would hit in the Bronx, and that the Rangers got the best of the trade.

Alfonso Soriano was never seen as a bit player.

I was going to say Dallas Green.

"The greatest New York Yankees managers of all time?

Try these: Joe McCarthy, Miller Huggins, Casey Stengel.

And Joe Torre."

Bucky Dent?


"Everybody knows, himself included, if the Yankees don't make it to the World Series in October, his career in pinstripes is probably over.

That is a sad testament for baseball, if not our society. Anything less than first place doesn't count."

Mr. Bodley, why does your list of greatest Yankees managers include Joe McCarthy, Miller Huggins, Casey Stengel ...

And Joe Torre?

Because they won.

What a sad testament for baseball, if not our society.

Not like the good ol' days when American ballplayers politely vied for second place.


"When Torre took over the Yankees in 1996, they hadn't won a World Series in 18 years. He reeled off an incredible four out of five."

What does it matter if the Yankees had not won a World Series in 18 years? Mr. Bodley is saying that anything less than first place doesn't count. What a sad testament for baseball, if not our society.


"The Yankees looked terrible in losing to the Detroit Tigers in last year's American League Division Series, dropping three consecutive games after taking the opener."

With a $200 million payroll.

But who cares who wins and who loses?

Keeping score in a competitive endeavor is a sad testament for baseball, if not our society.


Read this:

"Torre would be back for the final year of his contract, the highest-paid manager in the history of baseball at $7.5 million this season."

Then read this:

" 'You get hurt,' he says. 'I don't think it's strong enough to say you feel sorry for yourself. The last thing I want to do is say, 'Woe is me.' Nobody wants to hear that.' "

Yes, I'd agree that nobody wants to hear the highest-paid manager in the history of baseball say "Woe is me."

But if the last thing Torre wants to say is "woe is me," then he shouldn't even utter the phrase, "woe is me."

If it's not strong enough to say you feel sorry for yourself, then why did you just say you feel sorry for yourself?

The words that you're not saying are the same words that are coming out of your mouth.

"Dignified" Torre pulls this trick all the time.

"I wouldn't say ARod is a choking loser and I want to punch him in the kidney, so let's just say that he appeared uncomfortable in some of today's at-bats."

If you really don't want to say something, then you don't say it. You don't spend all day talking about how much you aren't saying it.

Tough as nails.

The Yankees drink lots of green tea.

Billy Martin and Mickey Mantle would be proud.

Get out while you can.

" 'He never refused the ball, but we pushed the envelope a little bit with him,' Joe Torre said of Proctor, who led AL relievers with 102 1/3 innings, appeared in consecutive games 19 times, and worked three games in three days three times."

Proctor led AL relievers in appearances and innings only because Torre had previously shredded the shoulders of Tanyon Sturtze and Steve Karsay.

Which forces Cashman to carry twelve pitchers.

Which costs Bernie Williams a roster spot.

While Torre wonders why Bernie Williams won't return his phone calls.


Anyway, this article is about how Proctor is guaranteed a spot on the Yankees and can start settling down and look for an apartment in Manhattan.

George King describes the situation thusly:

"The Yankees' bullpen depth appears better than in recent years, but the chances of Chris Britton, Jose Veras, Luis Vizcaino or Humberto Sanchez taking Proctor's seventh-inning gig away are astronomical."

The chances of the non-Proctors pitching in the seventh inning are astronomical.

The chances of the non-Proctors pitching in the seventh inning are inconceivably large.

The possibility of this particular outcome is inconceivably large.


I know the New York Post ain't the New Yorker, and I also figured out what King is trying to say.

King meant to say the odds for the non-Proctors, compared to Proctor, are astronomical. Also acceptable would be that the chances for the non-Proctors are infinitesimal.

Since I am a reader who has a working knowledge of the English language, I was forced to do a triple-take.

George, seriously: Put down the booze and pick up a dictionary.

Hey, pay attention, Joe Torre.

"Last year was [Bernie Williams's] farewell tour," Cashman said. "A lot of people in this organization would have let him go after 2005, but I brought him back because of who he was and because we had a need.

I'm trying to do this as respectfully as I can. It's a balancing act between your emotional ties to someone you love and what's best for your team. And whenever you're transitioning to younger players, this is what happens.

Sometimes I just want to say, 'Hey, pay attention here.' We're talking about a role player here, the 25th man on the roster. I know what Bernie Williams meant to this team, but he's not that guy anymore."

At least Rollins and Reyes won't be having any sleepovers.

Parsing Wallace.

"The two of them couldn't be more different, as ballplayers and as individuals ..."

Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez couldn't be more different as ballplayers.

Hmmm.

Both are right-handed hitting shortstops with speed, power, high on-base percentage, too many strikeouts, five tools, excellent baserunning, multiple gold gloves, multiple all star appearances, and Hall of Fame careers in the making.

You know who couldn't be more different as ballplayers?

Glenallen Hill and Randy Choate.

Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez are practically identical as ballplayers. ARod hits more homeruns and Jeter has experienced more postseason success. That's about the only difference.

Sassy.

Isn't anybody going to wonder why grown men were having sleepovers five days a week?

Can anyone imagine Thurman Munson having sleepovers with Carlton Fisk?

What the heck is a "sleepover," anyway? I haven't used that word since I was nine years old. I think a grown man might "crash at your place," but you don't have a "sleepovers" unless you also rent Woody Allen movies and have pillow fights.


In any case, I have a challenge for Wallace Matthews: If you were to describe Alex Rodriguez in the most homoerotic way possible, how would you do it?:

"Alex Rodriguez, Esq., strode into the dugout ready for his close-up, in designer jeans, leather slip-ons, a black windbreaker and a tan deeper than George Steinbrenner's pockets."

ARod has a nice tan -- and distracting clear, blue eyes -- like a pool that that's beckoning you into its deep end.


"The nickname 'Esquire' seems to fit because it is clear he will never live down the interview he gave to the magazine of the same name six years ago, which may have been the last time he was truly candid."

Esquire is not a nickname, it's a title.

A nickname might be "Sweet Cheeks" or "Honey Bun."


"This is the true curse of being A-Rod. It is not his October meltdowns or his defensive lapses or his disturbing failure to do much more as a Yankee than compile an impressive array of essentially meaningless statistics."

I don't think his impressive array of statistics are meaningless.

No more or less meaningless than any other player's statistics, though certainly more impressive.

Not in the last two playoffs, that's for sure.

But the degree of anti-ARod, Esq. sentiment seems to be something more than that.

Perhaps people don't like the way ARod sits in the dugout:

"It is that even sitting in a dugout, he always looks as if he just stepped out of the makeup chair and sounds as if he just finished memorizing a script. You're never quite sure when he's telling the truth or just acting out some homework assignment from his therapist. Everything comes off as pre-written, vetted, edited and rehearsed."

He loves me.
He loves me not.
He loves me.
He loves me not.

Lisa, will you marry me?

And I always thought the Subway Squawkers at the Daily News were useless ...

"In the first day of spring training, Torre finally explained to reporters why he batted Alex Rodriguez eighth in Game 4 of the ALDS:

Torre insisted it wasn't a slap at A-Rod, but the result of moving Melky Cabrera up in the batting order because, 'I was just trying to get some energy up at the top.'

I don't know what's more annoying about that statement:

The fact that he had four months to come up with an explanation for this decision, and this is apparently the best he could come up with,

The fact that nobody else seemed to check the game's box score to see where Cabrera actually batted in the lineup. Melky batted NINTH in that game, so the suggestion that A-Rod needed to bat eighth so Cabrera could be at the top of the order is, at best, sheer nonsense.

For $7.5 million a year, I expect the manager to come up with a better explanation or whatever you want to call it for batting A-Rod eighth."

Torre's Boyz.

"Manager Joe Torre reveal he'd called and urged Bernie Williams to come to camp, where he'd surely find room on a crowded roster, in spite of management's obvious feelings otherwise."

I like Torre's idea of "thinking of" Giambi as first baseman, presumably opening up a spot for Bernie as DH.

Of course, if the Yankees were looking for a right-handed DH, maybe they should have just kept Gary Sheffield. Or signed Frank Thomas. Or signed Shea Hillenbrand.

But since Torre now thinks he's the GM, maybe he should take off the uniform and move into the executive offices. I will gladly help him wordsmith his resume.

A couple more observations:

(1) Torre's comments amount to insubordination. In the division of duties, Cashman provides the players and Torre decides when and where they play. Torre probably has a lot of leeway when it comes to on-field decisions and it's always best if everyone in the enterprise is buying into the same vision. But Cashman is still Torre's boss and Cashman decides which players are on the 2007 Yankees.

(2) Is it more respectful to be honest with Bernie Williams and tell him that there is no room for him on the roster? Or is it more respectful to falsely imply to Bernie Williams that Jason Giambi might play first base and Bernie is going to take the Phillips/Phelps roster spot?

In this example, it's cruel to be kind.


Bernie is absolutely talented enough to play major league baseball in 2007.

If he really wants to, he should simply go play for another team.

It's not disrespectful to honestly explain to a man face to face that you no longer have employment for him.

Ninth is not eighth.

"Asked where he'd hit Rodriguez, Torre said he didn't know, but 'it won't be eighth.' "

No matador in the world can deflect all this bull ...

"Like the matador deftly avoiding a raging bull, Joe Torre has spent 11 long years navigating around George Steinbrenner's mood swings."

Here's your raging bull for ya: Reporters chasing around a confused old man.


"But Year 12 has presented Torre with the greatest challenge of his Yankee-era career – coping with a Boss who seems more determined to fire Torre than at any time since 1996."

Well, in 1996, Torre's first season as manager of the Yankees, the Yankees won the World Series.

Shortly thereafter, the Yankees won three consecutive World Series titles.

For the first five years, the crazed bull wasn't even charging the deft matador.

However, in the six years since, Torre has won zero World Series titles despite making the playoffs every year.

That losing streak is not necessarily a fireable offense, but it's quite clear to the most casual observer that Torre has been strategically outmanaged and has now even lost his ability to motivate his team.


"Crazy, isn't it?"

Yes, it's crazy that Joe Torre still has his job.


"The most successful Yankee manager of the last half-century is somehow on a one-summer audition."

You said the same thing last year and the year before and the year before and the year before.

If only I could believe you.


"The win-or-else philosophy is suddenly more than just Torre's job description; this time it's a real threat. He's going into the season without job security, which means the Yankees will need a world championship to keep Torre from being dismissed."

Cool.

In that case, maybe Torre won't blow off the first round of the playoffs. Maybe he won't drop Alex Rodriguez to 8th in the batting order. Maybe he won't play Gary Sheffield at first base. Maybe he won't bench Melky Cabrera and then play Melky Cabrera and then drop Alex Rodriguez to 8th in the batting order because Melky Cabrera would bring "energy" to the top of the lineup but that makes no sense because are you saying the Yankees didn't need energy in the first three games of the playoffs?

You want to talk about energy?

Maybe, in game three of the playoffs, when your team's back is against the wall, and your third baseman tags out a baserunner, and the umpire calls the baserunner safe, maybe the manager of the team can put down the bottle of Poland Spring and go kick the umpire in the family jewels.

Maybe instead of being "classy" and getting god damned standing ovations at god damned Fenway Park, maybe you go tell that umpire that the next time he disrespects the Yankees and the game of baseball like that, he ought to go home and drink some rat poison.

Oh, and the next time Paul Lo Duca thinks he can come into Yankee Stadium and talk smack to Alex Rodriguez, he wakes up with a horse head in his bed.

The loss to the Tigers was just small sample size. Torre's aloofness is really calmness. Torre's so noncommittal to the dream job of managing the Yankees, that he is basically daring Steinbrenner to fire him.

I can't read this article anymore.

I'm going to read this instead.

The under/over is July 15.

"Yankee fans still love Torre."

Yes.

Yes, we do.

As Valentine's Day approaches, I am trying to write a poem that describes how much I love Joe Torre. I just need to think of some words that rhyme with "ringworm."


The most interesting storyline of the 2007 season may be listening to Joe Girardi campaign for Torrre's job every night on the YES Network:

"He did not just win four World Series in his first six years managing the Yankees"

First five years managing the Yankees.

"he made it harder for Yankee haters to hate them than at any time in the history of the franchise."

Which means that Lupica the Yankee hater stopped hating the Yankees for a brief period of time.

But why is that a good thing?

I hope Yankee haters continue to hate the Yankees.

I hope the Yankee hating eats at their black souls and ruins their lives.

It's my idea of fun.

"That is the first six years."

The first five years.

The loss to Arizona in the 2001 World Series was still, you know, a loss.

Mike Lupica was required to write about Alex Rodriguez again.

"Steve Phillips was the general manager of the Mets when Alex Rodriguez first became a free agent. In the end the Mets didn't go after Rodriguez and one of the reasons Phillips gave, and people wanted to drop a safe on him because of it, was because he thought A-Rod was a '24-and-1' guy."

Yes, that's true, and Steve Phillips was lying the whole time.

Because Phillips instantly brought in Mike Piazza, and Piazza got his own luxury suites and private plane trips, or whatever.

A few years after that, the Mets brought in the biggest prima donna in baseball, who hasn't even lived up to his contract. Nobody complains because he's a great baseball player.

Great baseball players help your team win baseball games.

Oh, and by the way, I must have forgotten about all the Championship rings the Mets have won with Jose Reyes and Rey Ordonez.


"Meaning your team has 24 other guys and him."

Oh, is that what "24-and-1" means?

Thank you, Mr. Professional Baseball Writer.

I thought it was a football term that meant it was 24th down and 1 yard to go for a first down.


"Sometimes it seems as if there are three baseball teams in New York requiring full-time coverage, the Yankees, the Mets, and Alex Rodriguez."

Yes, it does sometimes seem that way.

It seems like the New York press follows him around wherever he goes and writes about everything he does, even when it is mindnumbingly uninteresting.

There is one guy in particular who seems oddly obsessed with Alex Rodriguez, in a negative way.

How do I describe this guy? Looks a little like Milhouse from the Simpsons; screechy voice; doesn't know what he's talking about most of the time; loves the Red Sox and Mets, hates the Yankees...


"By now there is no question that this guy isn't just the highest-paid superstar in baseball history or Yankee history. He is the highest-maintenance."

I wonder how true this really is.

The Yankees shouldn't care about his off-season bookstore appearances or his off-season interview demands. I personally don't care. I don't understand why the New York press corps follows him around like stray cats and then write columns where they say the New York press talks about Alex Rodriguez too much.

How high maintenance is Alex Rodriguez?

He's probably an arrogant snot, but that's too bad. You're paid $5 million to manage a $200 million payroll. Sounds like a gig the other 29 major league managers would gladly accept.

You put him at third base every day, you bat him fourth every day.

You get .300/.400/.550, 40 hrs, 20 stolen bases, 120 runs, and 120 rbis. You get a lot of strikeouts and, in 2006, too many errors.

ARod is seldom hurt and he seldom makes mental mistakes in the field or on the basepaths. He knows more about the opponent than you do, I can promise you that. He is the most well-conditioned player on your team, I can also promise you that.

Sounds like a tough job for a manager whose team wasn't mentally prepared to play the so-called "upstart" Detroit Tigers.

Maybe the fact that the manager allowed 95-win team to be perceived as "upstarts" is the problem right there.

Poor Yankees. Poor Joe Torre. Poor New York press.

They should get Mike Lamb to play third base and see what happens.

Third-place teams are so much easier to maintain, aren't they?

Bernie Williams is probably my favorite baseball player ever.

I watched him play quite a few games with the defunct Albany-Colonie Yankees.

I always liked centerfielders, from Paul Blair to Mickey Rivers to Bobby Brown.

He's a cool dude in a loose mood.

He creates relaxing music for doctor's offices in Puerto Rico.

His first name is Bernabe.

He played his entire career with the Yankees.

Guess what?

My favorite baseball player's baseball-playing career is over:

"The buzz around the Yankees' minor league camp, where Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada were among those working out, was they would see their long-time pal when position players report on Feb. 18."

For real?

That's the buzz around the Yankees' minor league camp?

Not the all-you-can-eat buffet at the Country Kitchen?


Let's see how far George King can bend baseball reality in his attempt to make a case for Bernie Williams playing baseball for the New York Yankees in 2007:

"Based on how well Williams did last year (.281, 12 HRs, 61 RBIs in 420 ABs) when he played more than expected due to injuries to Gary Sheffield and Matsui, he would likely be a contributor off the bench if used as the fourth outfielder and occasional DH."

You caught that, didn't you?

Fourth outfielder?

1. Matsui.
2. Damon.
3. Abreu.
4. Cabrera.

Which brings up an interesting point. My hunch is that 99% of the fans who want Bernie back also want Melky to get more playing time.

"However, Williams' strengths aren't as a pinch-runner, defensive replacement or pinch-hitter (3-for-23; .158 a year ago) - skills usually required of extra outfielders. And the Yankees have Kevin Thompson and Kevin Reese who can pinch run and play defense."

5. Thompson.
6. Reese.


I mean, sure, if the Yankees are hit with a lot of injuries, then Bernie would be a great player to have waiting in the wings.

Maybe Bernie would be willing to play in Scranton all year and wait for a September call-up or wait for a few injuries on the 25-man roster.

It's quite a demotion for a player with near-HOF credentials, but it's his life, and playing baseball for a living is better than a fork in the eye.

Who knows? It's not impossible that Bernie will one day play again for the Yankees.

Just please, please, please take a realistic look at the Yankees' 2007 roster and don't create absurd scenarios just to fit Bernie in.

Like this:

"Or they could use Cairo at first against lefties, and thus not need either Phelps or Phillips."

Miguel Cairo at first base against lefties?

Or they could use a 3-man rotation.

Or they could petition the commissioner's office for a 26-man roster.

Or they could play Jorge in CF on Sunday day games, freeing up the catcher position for Bernie.

All ARod, all the time.

It's apparently headline news when Alex Rodriguez goes to a bookstore and says nothing interesting.

Some of the headlines actually read, "Alex Rodriguez Sidesteps Questions."

Not to get all technical, but shouldn't news at least contain something new?


Jerry Crasnick has attempted an impossible task.

He's predicting the future or ARod and the Yankees and, for the sake of brevity, he has taken an infinite number of possibilities and boiled them down to three.

Crasnick has basically presented the Three Bears' porridge: Scenario one is too cold, scenario two is too hot, and scenario three is in between. Something will happen in the next year and it will likely approximate one of those three scenarios.

What's interesting to me is scenario one, which is where we may be able draw the line in the sand. ARod's 2004 postseason:

"Rodriguez's 2007 regular-season numbers are impressive, but they're rendered meaningless when the Yankees are bounced in the Division Series. It's A-Rod's fourth straight October flameout, and he's getting torched on WFAN radio and buried in the tabloids. He's thinking about wearing a Bobby Valentine nose-and-glasses disguise around town just to maintain his sanity."

2004 ALDS: 4 games, 8-for-19, 3 2b, 1 hr, 2 walks, 2 stolen bases, 3 runs, 2 rbis. .421 ba, .476 ob%, .737 slg%

2004 ALCS: 7 games, 8-for-31, 2 2b, 2 hr, 4 walks, 8 runs, 3 rbis. .258 ba, .378 ob%, .516 slg%.

2004 playoffs: 11 games, 16-for-50, 5 2b, 3 hr, 6 walks, 2 stolen bases, 11 runs, 5 rbis. .320 ba, .414 ob%, .600 slg%.


This is why I don't trust the anti-ARod crowd.

Not because of the criticisms of 2005 and 2006 postseasons. The numbers speak for themselves and he deserves a large dose of blame.

But when he was unfairly criticized for his 2004 postseason, I lost faith in the credibility of the accuser.

What's your agenda when you claim that ARod "flamed out" in the 2004 postseason?

Is Vlad Guerrero a choker because he hit 1-for-20 in the 2005 ALCS?

Is Albert Pujols a choker because he hit 3-for-15 in the World Series, when it really counts?

If the answer is "yes" in one case, then the answer is "yes" in all cases. Because that's the small sample size horse you rode in on. When that horse bucks you off, your butt is going to hurt.

Expect misfortune when reading a Wallace Matthews column.

"Or go back to last August, when Rodriguez camped under an easy pop-up and out of nowhere came his nemesis, er, teammate, Derek Jeter, running into him, knocking the ball out of his glove, and subjecting poor Alex to the scorn of the Yankee Stadium faithful once again.

Never mind that the error was later shifted to Jeter. For the rest of the game, the crowd continued to jeer A-Rod as if he had recreated Merkle's Boner."

Yuck.

Speaking of boners, Wallace Matthews hasn't lost his hard-on for Joe Torre:

"[Alex Rodriguez] has 119 homers and 357 RBIs in three years here, won a second MVP, yet his tenure is widely viewed as a disaster. When viewed through the prism of situations, not statistics, A-Rod's Yankees career is truly less than the sum of its parts.

When last seen in pinstripes, Rodriguez had been ignominiously dropped to eighth in the order after his 1-for-11 performance in the first three playoff games against the Tigers. He responded to the motivational tactic by going hitless in the season-ending 8-3 loss that nearly cost Joe Torre his job."

When viewed through the prism of Wallace Matthews's brain, Joe Torre's blameshifting tactic is motivational.

Football is still different than baseball.

"Last night's title and MVP for Peyton Manning didn't prove he's a clutch performer. The 2005 and 2006 ALDS's didn't prove A-Rod is an unclutch performer. They're just samples of data, surrounded by noise. Manning's ring does, however, prove one thing: he's capable of coming through in the biggest situations, he does have what it takes. And everyone who said he didn't was wrong."

I just disagree with the part about Manning playing spectacularly in the 2007 playoffs.

Manning "proved he could win the big game" because the Colts defense got good.

Strange Days.

Esteemed Senator Kerry,

As one of one-hundred United States senators, what is foremost in your mind?

"A Red Sox fan ought to be able to watch their team without having to switch to DirecTV."

Well, they can always listen on the radio or follow pitch-by-pitch on the Internet.

Problem solved.

Next in the inbox is the $999,000,0000,0000,000.00 budget deficit.

Seriously, though: What about the buildup of American warships in the Persian Gulf? The latest scientific reports that global warming is accelerating and irreversible? The "uptick" of American troops in Iraq?

I mean, do you even realize that you're supposedly a representative of the American people and most American people don't even care about baseball?

They care about feeding their children and the price of gas.

700 wins in one season would be, like, a record.

While playing manager, GM, and spiritual advisor for the Yankees, Mike Mussina drops some fuzzy math:

"I think the expectations in New York -- playing for the Yankees, all of the media coverage -- the expectations are large. They're high. Randy, his name is synonymous with 15 strikeouts, 20 wins. When you put on pinstripes, you're expected to do that 35 times a year."

Football is different than baseball.

"Maybe A-Rod will finally have a playoff series - or even just one playoff game - like Peyton had last Sunday against the Patriots. Peyton is now halfway to changing his own place in football history, halfway because last Sunday won't mean anything in the long run if he can't beat the Bears next Sunday.

If he can do it, maybe A-Rod can."

Alex Rodriguez's has never played in a World Series.

Maybe that is what Lupica means.

But I don't think that is what Lupica means.

Last Sunday, in an important playoff game, Peyton Manning was 27-for-47 for 349 yards and one TD.

What is the baseball equivalent of this?

I don't know, excactly. I think it's a pointless comparison.

But I do know that ARod hit .409/.480/.773 against the Yankees in the 2000 ALCS. That's better than 27-for-47, 349.

I also know that ARod hit .421/.476/.737 against the Twins in the 2004 ALDS. That's better than 27-for-47, 349.

You're looking for a single game? How about this game? 4-for-5 with a double, a homerun, 2 rbis, and 2 runs scored. Trust me, that's better than 27-for-47, 349. It's like 37-for-47, 480, and 4 TDs.

I must be a genius. I found "just one playoff game" performance by Alex Rodriguez that's better than Peyton Manning's performance last Sunday. I could easily find several more

Or maybe I'm just proving why it's dumb to compare football to baseball.

After all, ARod doesn't pitch.

With sentimental pushes like that ...

Have you ever heard of the rule of three?

Basically, lists of three have a certain rhythm that is often appealing. For example, the rule of three is very noticeable in advertisements or joke telling.

It's the only explanation I can think of for Bernie Williams's inclusion in Johnette Howard's list:

"This Yankees nostalgia kick is way over the top. Granted, it's been years and a couple zillion dollars since the Yankees last won the World Series, but you know the sentimental push to bring back title-team stars Andy Pettitte, Bernie Williams and Roger Clemens has gone way too far when Jim Leyritz announces he wants to make a comeback, too."


This is the Yankees' so-called sentimental push for Bernie Williams, as described on the Yankee website:

"The Yankees have made it a point to tread delicately regarding Bernie Williams' future this winter.

But with Spring Training drawing closer and no contract offers yet from the club, Williams is accepting the idea that his 16-year career with the Yankees may be over.

...

He has been waiting for the Yankees to make him an offer, but told the newspaper that he understands it may not appear.


'Part of me says if they wanted me, they would have made an offer by now,' Williams told the Journal-News. 'When you play this game for a long time, you take things for granted and think it won't end. But the harsh reality of it is, it will.'"

J.V. shortstop gets his revenge.

All the grand jury testimony and leaks of confidential information and Congressional hearings. What does it really all boil down to? A frustrated athlete who got cut from the team:

"Kevin could have been a star," says Greg Suhr, the San Francisco deputy police chief and Ryan's childhood friend. "If he had used steroids or something like that, you're talking about another 25 pounds of muscle, more speed and a whole lot more recruiters. But he … played by the rules. You do the best with what you got. That's what he's always believed in.

"What he's doing now with BALCO, and Barry Bonds, and all of these guys who cheat, he's striking a blow for the good guys."

President Truman, what do you think of Lazzeri's range to his left?

I'm not sure if this is more embarrassing for the President or for the reporter.

Where's the love for Kevin Maas?

So, Cashman has won nothing on his own.

"In the 14 months since he wrestled power away from George Steinbrenner's cabal of advisors in Florida, Cashman has reformatted the Yankees into an organization determined to develop star players rather than pay a premium for them. Along with significant roster changes, Cashman has made a series of personnel moves within the baseball operations department, firing several longtime scouts and coaches and reassigning others."

In the 14 months since Cashman wrestled power away from George Steinbrenner's cabal of advisors in Florida, the Yankees have a .250 winning percentage in the playoffs.

I think this much-maligned cabal of advisors was winning Championship rings while Brian Cashman was a gofer for the Columbus Clippers.

Heck, I'll bet the much-maligned cabal of advisors could have picked up some bats and managed one lousy run against Kenny Rogers.

Stick to the stories about guys chasing after a ball on a field.

"To the end, people continue to try to protect a guy who doesn't deserve it, and act as if a leak about use of a banned substance is more significant than the drug use itself. Wonderful."

This may be a difficult concept for Mike Lupica to understand, but Barry Bonds deserves protection simply because he is a citizen of the United States.

The Bill of Rights is not a joke.

Mike Lupica, and a lot of other short-sighted folks, have no use for the Fourth Amendment. Not until maybe their teenage son is pulled over on a highway, 4:00 am, breath smells of alcohol. Maybe he took a few cough drops is all. Maybe the cop is a Mets fan who reads the name on the license and doesn't like what his pop said about Carlos Beltran.

Maybe Lupica doesn't care about confidential grand jury testimonies until he gets a subpoena.

Maybe Lupica doesn't care about the Fourth Amendment until a late-night knock on his door. Lupica talked to a confidential source who might have known something about something really important like steroid use and homerun records. Now the FBI wants to take a look-see at all of Lupica's computer files.


Guess what, everybody?

Barry Bonds took performance-enhancing substances of some kind, whether they were illegal, legal, or in a pseudo-legal grey area. Bonds is probably going to get off because he was careful enoguh to maintain plausible deniability. This is not fair. Hank Aaron's homerun record will be broken by a selfish cheat.

Get over it.

The Nero Congress is wasting its time trying to protect the records of their boyhood idols.

The prosecutors can't get Bonds within the rules, so they bend the rules. The ends justify the means. It's a far worse crime than cheating at baseball.


Baseball is a game.

The Bill of Rights is not a game.

Hall of Fame 2017.

I've got a Hall of Fame debate for you.

A player who has played for nine years and has already accumulated five all-star appearances, three gold gloves, and four silver slugger awards.

Never won an MVP, but came in the top ten three times.

.333 career batting average and a 162-game average of 33 homeruns and 113 runs batted in.

No postseason exploits to bolster his candidacy, but no off-field shenanigans to hamper his candidacy, either.

His "Most Similar" players at baseball-reference.com are Hank Greenberg and Vladimir Guerrero.

You think it's difficult to factor in the steroid era? Try factoring the steroid era at Coors Field.

Mad Libs.

Just replace "major league baseball" with "Pakistan" and "steroid use" with "find Osama bin Laden."

If you pretend, you may be able to sleep better tonight, with the knowledge that your elected representatives have their priorities in order.

Also, take comfort in the fact that this guy is dictating America's domestic policies.

Tim Brown runs out of baseball players.

"Then there's Ledee, kind and affable and easy to root for. He's too young to be old, too talented to be done, and yet wonders what's next, if anything."

By major league baseball standards, Ricky Ledee is old.

Untalented, too.

Perspective.

What was I expecting when I decided to read Tommy Lasorda's blog?

Tommy Lasorda reminisces about the "mixed emotions" he felt when he first learned about Bobby Kennedy's assassination:

"It was a night of mixed emotions. While I was happy for Big Don, I was sad and angry about the assassination."

"Big Don" referring to Don Drysdale, who was the starting pitcher for the Dodgers that evening. Two earned runs in 6 1/3 innings.

Willie Randolph Hangin' Tough.

"More than ever, Randolph believes he can take this team where it needs to be. He is going to continue to manage in the same aggressive style that has turned the Mets around during his two-year tenure.

He will attack. Randolph said if he were presented again with the same Game 7 circumstances, he would not bunt the runners over in that fateful ninth.

If the Mets trailed by one run instead of two, he would have bunted, but he did not want to give up the out. He had faith in Cliff Floyd and rolled the dice, and the bottom line is Beltran got to the plate with the bases loaded."

I'm glad Kevin Kernan is not my accountant.

The Yankees are an old team.

"You know who the core group of young Yankees is at the present time?

Cano and Chien-Ming Wang.

That's the whole list, despite all the giddiness about pitching prospects from the Tigers and Diamondbacks."

True, the Yankees are old. But they did get younger this offseason. Which is something I don't care about too much, but it's something Lupica obsesses about.

Besides, Cashman's strategy is to flood the minors with youngsters and hope one or two of them stick. For example, Philip Hughes should definitely be on the list of the core group of young Yankees.

I'm also not sure why Lupica seldom seems to notice how old the Mets are. Wright, Reyes, and a whole bunch of artifacts. The Moises Alou signing didn't exactly help matters, right?

But the funniest part is Lupica's solution to make the Yankees younger. Replace 33-year-old Doug Mintkayvitch with 30-year-old Andy Phillips:

"What, Andy Phillips couldn't play first base?"

Yes, if Andy Phillips played first base instead of Doug Mintkayvitch, the Yankees' average age would go down 0.12 years.

Fresh and Exciting!


I also just like the fact that Lupica thinks Phillips is young just because Phillips has limited time in the pros.

Phillips is young because I haven't seen him play much baseball on television.

The aging that has occurred offscreen doesn't count.

It's like a baby covering its eyes and thinking it is invisible.

You had me, then you lost me.

Tim Marchman on December 27, 2006:

"Don't Give Up on Johnson in Pinstripes Just Yet."


Tim Marchman on January 5, 2007:

"Trade of Big Unit Is a Step In The Right Direction."

For Marchman's sake, let's hope that consistency really is the hobgoblin of small minds.


"The less important reason is that, all else being equal, it's a good idea for the Yankees to offload a superfluous former All-Star who didn't really seem part of the team. Picking up random people like Johnson, Alex Rodriguez, Kevin Brown, Gary Sheffield, Carl Pavano, and so on isn't why the Yankees haven't won a World Series since 2000, as most players of this class have played wonderfully for them. But on the other hand, Yankee voraciousness has in the past few years been associated with a growing sense of distance between fans and the team, as well as the loss of a sense of team identity. As long as they're sound on the merits, trades that send these kinds of players elsewhere are to be encouraged."

The growing distance between fans and players was so strong that 4,258,067 people went to Yankee Stadium last year to watch the Yankees play baseball. Ornery Randy Johnson may not have drawn anybody to the Stadium, but he didn't repel anybody, either.


Fans like winning. Fans root for the uniform. Even Roger Clemens is now being re-imagined as a clubhouse guy, a big game pitcher, and a True Yankee.

Why?

Because he won a couple of rings with the Yankees.

When you favorite team wins a Championship, it triggers endorphins in your brain, and then you associate all the good feelings with the players you see on the television screen.


However, the 2007 Yankees are not a marketing campaign, they're a professional baseball team.
If these spoiled fans disliked Randy Johnson's 17 wins so much, they may soon realize they dislike Kei Igawa's 17 losses even more.

Peter Abraham's efficient 18-person starting rotation.

How will the Yankees replaced Randy Johson's 17 wins and 200+ innings?

Peter Abraham has the obvious answer:

"As for the 17 wins, they can get 17 wins from Pavano, Igawa, Pettitte, Proctor, the assorted kids and - who knows? - perhaps one Roger Clemens."

It's a good strategy.

Why keep one pitcher who can win 17 games when you can use 10 or 11 pitchers for the same thing?

Every team should probably replace all their expensive, productive players.

The Phillies could easily replace Ryan Howard's 58 homeruns. Just make one trade to the Cardinals and replace Howard with So Taguchi, Scott Spiezio, Ronnie Belliard, Shane Victorino, Chris Coste, David Bell, David Dellucci, and all the outfielders on their AAA team.